The story of my tonsils

I wish I can literally take a picture of my tonsils to show u reader how nice or rather how gross they both are. There are literally little white spots aka ulcers on each tonsil. N they are all red n enlarged. Almost deformed.

Little do I know that I will develop such conditions. I dismissed it too quickly it to b a mere sore throat. My GP whom I waited for 3 hours (Thanks to hubby who waited with me as well) said that it is a very nasty infection. He recommended that 1. IM Rocephin x 3 2. Oral Augmentin + plus additional dose of Amoxil. N obviously e latter one will take more days to recover. And of coz I chose e easier one.

It’s quite scary that I didn’t realize that earlier. I know I am under lots of stress lately, from school, from new work n wedding plans. E unspoken stress is taking a toil on my physical body. I think God is trying to remind me. I have been feeling e aches n pains and having not enough sleep. I am so sure that this time, He sent me a big alarm like this to remind me.

N it’s a big alarm n a price to pay. Time to rest! n never will I underestimate e power of tonsillitis.

E moodiness

I have been moody this whole day. N I really tried to stir myself up, only to b surrounded by people who were not as edifying as well. I tried to make myself feel better but I guess today is juz not my day. But I guess it doesn’t matter whether my mood is lousy or not. What’s more impt is Jesus rose from e dead. Regardless of any dead situation in my life. Although it’s only my mood. N why is my mood so moody? Coz I began to understand even more of myself. I struggle to keep my heart pure. N thats awfully painfully. I long to have a pure heart towards God, myself n people. E more I tried, e more I feel I am worse as I gain more insight to my heart condition. Sometimes I really feel I am such a weakling. My heart is so weak. It’s like what actually had happened to result me, in this state. My soul is weary. I feel so lousy, so depressed, in a bottomless pit. N no other words can best describe me now.

Work!

Day 2 in my current new job. I only have one conclusion. E nurses at this institution take pride in their job n they know their job n carry them well. I am impressed.

N I told my NC before I left for today that I did not regret coming over. It has been a rewarding day, which requires me to challenge my current clinical skills. N more medical conditions to know of.

I am loving my new job!

The TIME is now!

The SoT

Finally, I have decided!

I have decided to invest 7 months of my life, for the Word of God!

This was never a decision to make. Through this period, I learned lots but more importantly, obedience. N its true that I can run but I can never hide from God! I liken myself as Jonah who ran and ran, in huge denial. But the love of God is steadfast and faithful. It never fails!

I will need to give my full time job! AS I pondered and fret over where my source of income would b , in order to sustain me through these months, but God provided! I am excited that I am able to embark in a new arena in a part time manner, and given new opportunities to do more! And when my new boss said why he left his previous job was becoz he wanted to do more and was not able to do so, it resonates my heart totally! I have wanted to do more but each time, was met with much resistance and slamming. After a while, u decided that its not worth fighting anymore.

At e same time, I know that my relationship with Apple will b put to further test. With the limited finances we both have at this moment, and with me going full time studying, its almost impossible to get married this year. But there is peace in my heart. N I have that little faith that all will turn around for good. Its only e beginning of the many blessings that will come. N they will come to pass!

Weddings…

To date, I have been attending more than 10 weddings since last year. Which also included one which was held at Fort Cannning today. It was a 10mins event which made me think about how should one hold his/her wedding. 

Firstly, I do want to invite Jesus to my holy matrimony. I dun think I can ever forsake His presence in such an important milestone of my life. A few weddings which I have attended so far, did not. Though they were known to me, as Christians. I wonder why. Is it because of the mere fact that the other half is not a believer? It was not coincidence which Pst preached on one of our church doctrines – include the need to be equally yoked. Or was it the once on-fire for God passion subsided?

Secondly, I want the wedding to be held in a place where its accessible for all to attend. Not just merely car drivers but also those who take public transport. Neither shall it be held in hotels! I have more or less, decided on the venue. Kinda of fixed on that beautiful place! And its for Apple to agree upon now.

Thirdly, the invited guests should include people who really care for me and Apple. People who are truly happy for us to get together. There had been weddings which appeared to be a Fruitfarm gathering where lots of staff come and chat/gossip, oblivious to the groom and bride which I think its rude and superficial as well. I intend to screen the Fruitfarm list carefully and I know I am capable of choosing the appropriate people. 

Fourthly, the quality of the food served to my guests. It need not be luxurious and expensive food, but I believe in giving the best. The kind of food that feeds people yet delicious and wholesome.  

Fifthly, it shall be held in evening around 1800hrs. When the sun sets and the breeze comes. My guests will be delighted! Away from scorching sun and welcoming the sea view!

I think I do have other points to add on but its good for now. 

I am getting excited as I blog this. Dear Apple, as you read this, I hope you can sense my excitement as well. Thank you for being in my life, loving God together with me as well. I have been blessed!

GIVE THANKS!

GIVE THANKS!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As I entered 2012 with such apprehension, I am reminded last night during the service, the need to give thanks!

SO much have happened and its beyond words that I could jot down in this blog alone, but foremost, I juz wanna give thanks for the things that had happened in 2011. 

I give thanks to God most of all, the sanity of mind. As I have handled much patients with troubled minds over relationships or the nature of the illnesses they suffer from. I have so much to thank God for in this! I thank God that the resilence I have inculcated. The trials and tribulations. I used to be extremely negative and view sufferings as ‘sad, pathetic, part of life’. And failed to realize that I too can be an overcomer in difficult times. In this note, I have Apple to thank for as well. He has brought me back to perspective, many times, when my mind juz simply gets distorted. 

 And let us give thanks because of what the Lord has done for us!

 

Acts of Service

I have been into the 5 languages of love lately n its fun to discover one another.

Me for once has been Quality Time. N Apple as well. However the part on Acts of Service is high on his side as well. Oh well, I am not at all surprised. Coz he has been doing the nicest things for me even though I did not ask for his help. As I reflected, it isnt my strength either. Have always been independent n doing things on own until he came along. Significant change in my life as I learn to do things not juz for me alone but also for the other half. Hasn’t been easy either. I keep forgetting the fact that it’s no longer 1 but 2.

So I tried to reciprocate by doing a particular Acts of Service – cooking for him. N let me emphasize. I hardly cook n the last time I cooked was yons! N to begin with, I never like to cook. N I remember how many counts of lousy grades I had for my classes for Home Economics. N my kiddie sister always remind me that I will need to cook for the husband n children next time. Oh well. :p

N I tried indeed, to fix a simple meal for Apple who was born on Christmas’ eve. (I still can’t believe that anyone would b born on Christmas’ eve!!) n it did turn out fun.

N not to mention, I broke mum’s can opener, literally into pieces. Must have been nervous!

N I think Apple must have passed me on my cooking skills!

But at the end of the day, I really still prefer to wash up the utensils than to cook. N thank God, did I mention that Apple can cook? I am in luck! N I guess it’s how we complement each other. He cooks, I wash

Nevertheless, I will learn to cook more. N assume the role of taking care of each other’s health in terms of proper diet.

Here’s a sample of my little achievement!

December again..

I think I am getting melancholic again, perhaps due to the year end and rainy season. I find myself getting moody and a little distorted on my thinking process. Perhaps its the hormones that somehow have gone astray ever since I screwed up on my prescribed hormonal pills. I juz feel darn lousy at times. 

For one, I think alot. I reflect alot. N I find myself thinking lots for this year end and for the coming year ahead. Priorities in my life need to b adjusted. I find myself increasingly more scatterbrained than ever, landing myself in more intra-psychic conflicts. N I refuse to blame it on my S personality. N I pray that I will get better. N I know that there is so much I could look forward to. 

 

Life eternal

I read about Katie’s blog n realized too, I somehow stopped blogging for a while. Call it life’s busyness.. But mine, oh mine! I have been really n awfully busy!

It started off a couple of months ago, when my friend got really sick after 3 episodes of stroke within 1.5 months n landed in ICU for e last 1 month. I have been busy then, visiting n monitoring his progress. During this trying period for my friend n his family, I found myself asking God lots of questions about death n life after. Death n eternity to b specific!

Despite e fact I do know that God can do miracles too! I prayed n asked God to show me a miracle through my friend. I wasn’t expecting a full recovery for my friend n it went on for days. Still it didn’t occur. N I needed answers to why it has happened.

My friend is a good man who loves his wife n children very much. A soft spoken man who has such endearing love for God n His people. I could not understand why this misfortune has happened to him.

I was kinda affected. N Apple reminded me not to b overly involved. Not only that my faith in a healing God was being challenged but also I was searching a revelation of what is life after all.

Yet in e midst of it all, I began to gain a better insight of what is happening.

He is now placed on D&R order. It was decided based on e fact that he should b given comfort care n not to b subjected to more surgeries. His EVD was removed, his morphine was weaned off. His temperature does not need further monitoring as he will continue to have febrile episodes. He is now maintained on tracheostomy n enteral feeding.

His birthday is approaching. Our cell group has come together n made him a scrapbook. We hope to remember him even in his last days.

N e wife has been remarkably strong. I think I would have broken down many many times. In her, I find that indeed wif Christ, there is resurrection in life. Even after physical death. Though one may die, he shall live. It cannot separate us from e love of God n also our loved ones. Indeed! N I suppose that is what our earthly life is all about. N there shld b eternity in our hearts

Addendum
Uncle R was called home to be wif the Lord on 3 Dec 2011 n there was a smile left on his mortal body

Rewards

I have been having weeks, full of challenges at work. N as I sat in 2 administrative meetings today n relearned e importance of building relationships wif one another from Mdm Pink. I realized I do lack that ‘people skill’ n I shall learn. Although I felt tortuous to a certain extent, to attend such meetings. N I found myself asking whether I would change when I rise to power. Even when I got e last promotion, I was pleasantly surprised that I haven changed for any worse. Other than assuming more roles n responsibilities, I haven changed a bit which I mean more wanting e need to b in control n have power.

To illustrate, Ms Beaver took control over a certain project I have been working on for past 2.5 years without giving me a single ounce of respect n I jolly well know that Mr Boss will recognize her ‘efforts’ at e end. Regardless of what I have been doing. At one point, I was tempted to retort in rebellion. N its perfectly okay that Mr Boss doesnt recognize my effort. N I chose to respond wif love n grace.

N when God uses me to reach out to others, I know that my life is more than juz work. I have so much to offer n give to. N I take comfort to know that my reward is truly in heaven. Heaven n earth will pass away but His word will not.